Non Mi Lasciare
by Kajune
Summary: Love is something Mukuro has never believed in, even after Hibari steals his heart he still won't accept it as real, but he will at least cherish it. 6918


**Title** : Non Mi Lasciare

**Disclaimer** : I do not own any of the Characters including KHR.

**Genre** : Romance

**Warning** : Contains maleXmale content. OOCness.

**Summary** : Love is something Mukuro has never believed in, even after Hibari steals his heart he still won't accept it as real, but he will at least cherish it. 6918

* * *

><p>There is a belief that when someone dies all attachments they have to the world vanish.<p>

From influence to bonds and meaning to existence. Everything that keeps them bound to Earth and everyone's minds goes away without return, without notice, without a trace.

For centuries a sole being has surpassed the normal limits of a human, retaining their memories upon rebirth or recreation back into the world far more gruesome than Hell. He has been through the process of life and death as the same person but with greater power each time. Has everyone in his past life forgotten him? Yes. Has all the things he has done also forgotten? Yes. Looking back at the abandoned life he sees that those still standing after years and years no longer recognize him.

As if he had never existed before.

On the contrary, he has already been reborn 5 times, each time he holds a wicked intent that not even God can see. He is no kind man, you see. His soul is tarnished in evil doings and thoughts, and he regrets them not. To kill is an easy act for such a person, and to die is not a scary thing. No matter how many times he falls, he will get back one way or another. There is no way he will go down without a fight, but if he dies losing, then he will get back up in another life.

It doesn't matter if the world around has changed and left his past self in the shadows, for as long as he lives even without past ties, he will keep on existing proudly. For such small things like relationships, means nothing to him.

...Or so he thought.

Having crossed the boundaries of life and gained the ability more suitable for a monster, Rokudo Mukuro has never seen any value in feelings, love or kindness. Pretending to have such qualities is easy enough, there is no need to actually have such childish things. People only have such qualities to keep them feeling safe, feeling happy, feeling deeply cared for. Holding them in such high regards that it would be insane for someone to not have them, to despise them, as if it was an offense on the very existence of the human population.

A clear reason to believe that feelings are not needed, especially for himself. Though on his sixth journey back to the messed up world, out from the depths of utter despair into the more truly insane place, he soon - no - eventually finds himself falling head-over-heels for a mere teenager.

A boy, different only by his insane determination to continue fighting thus making himself possess great and very reliable potential, has won Mukuro's frozen heart whether or not he knows it or wants to. In age they are more than a year apart, separate mostly by a few months with Mukuro being younger of the two but visibly taller. The colors of their skin, hair and eyes don't match, nor do they share the same nationality. A stubborn but brave Japanese individual sharing only the love for fighting (albeit to an extreme degree) with the first man ever to have him on his knees, has been the first ever to have Mukuro's heart in the palm of his hands.

Each day he drives the other deeper and deeper into the pit of insanity, with the only method of escaping being the willingness to accept such feelings. As mentioned before, Mukuro is no angel and has never accepted such feelings, viewing them so poorly that he would be more than happy to sever all without a thought. No human is born completely perfect, giving Mukuro a reason to accept that at long last he is in love, madly in love, with his rival. A mere thought of doing so however, is enough to tear Mukuro's dignity in half. How can such a person more fitting with the title of a monster accept that he loves someone of the same gender?

Hibari Kyoya will never love him let alone look at him with eyes drained of hate. The two met almost coincidentally one day during the first of Mukuro's major schemes in his sixth life, and not for a second did he hesitate with the idea of breaking every bone in the weaker male's body, as if he hadn't done so as planned. Unfortunately such an act backfired on him so heavily that nothing seemed clear to him. Had he not done such a thing, would he still love Hibari? This question has played in his head for months, in hopes that it is the reason why he fell in love; out of pity. His evilness doesn't go without knowledge that equals it, so even he knows that simply abusing someone will make you love them.

He isn't a fool, but is a desperate teenager wanting to break free from his unbreakable bond. He loves Hibari, but he has been denying this for so long. A single glance makes his heart race, his mind spin and body burn up. Has it not been a fact for generations that feelings such as love are human-created for the sole purpose of avoiding fear, loneliness and shame?

To his own demise none of his past beliefs have been true. None.

Ties are broken upon one's death because that person vanishes, their memories erased and souls reformed into a new person years later. Mukuro goes through half of this process, keeping what humans wish to maintain. After some thought it becomes dazzlingly clear that the sole reason his past ties break so easily is because not once has he truly felt anything for anyone. One-sided feelings are not strong enough to remain in the form of a string, tying two souls together for as long as both live.

Mukuro is forgotten as time can make that happen, having died so mysteriously with each unavoidable death in the past couple of centuries.

These are the facts, the truth he himself couldn't see. The things that explain how wrong his beliefs are. At this point, in this life-time he has someone dear to his heart. If that person dies they are separated forever, never to meet again as the same person. The memories Hibari holds will be washed away without the tinniest remain, and his reincarnation will be a different person. Would Mukuro end up loving that person too? With both being born from the same soul of the Japanese tonfa-wielder Hibari Kyoya, different only by the time of their existence, would his heart still be consumed by such a person?

Maybe not.

It is tempting to find out how far his feelings will go, how long will they last. He refuses to take the test though, for he may have been blind about how false his beliefs have been, but one thing he is sure about is that a soul will forget everything upon rebirth, and Mukuro, aware of never having such feelings returned, wishes to keep the Hibari he knows breathing for as long as possible.

Maybe...his love won't last that long. The Hibari he loves is the Hibari he knows now, and that is all.

"Hibari Kyoya."

Death is the one thing Mukuro tries to believe Hibari can avoid, being the solitary and toughest member of a Mafia family both have been dragged into shortly after their first encounter, not that he has fully come to accept that he isn't absolutely under the control of his feelings, but upon accepting even a certain part of such foreign thoughts, fantasies and desires he has experienced fear.

If a single thought of Hibari not meeting Mukuro's expectations can hurt a portion of his altered heart, what would happen if he really does die? There is no point in wondering about the limit of his own love for Hibari by using death as a test subject, when the very idea of what would happen to himself when Hibari dies is...unbearable.

He has broken down cupboards, torn sheets apart and smashed already-broken windows as an act of denial, for he does not only feel love because of Hibari, but also fear.

Never has he really feared for his own life unless his pride was on the line. By then he would think of a way, any way, to take down his opponent first. The thought of Hibari falling to his demise doesn't effect his pride at all, despite having a large effect on his feelings. The unwanted love that causes such an effect has granted him a reason to feel differently whenever he fights someone strong, taking away the desire to fight to the death as if his own existence isn't already what can be considered immortal.

Constantly he has fought as if death will not make him vanish, facing opponents with only mischievous in his own miss-matched eyes, because death really can't destroy his existence, only that of everyone else. His love however has strongly made it feel that this is in fact, not true. If either of them dies, that is the end. They will not meet again in any life time as the same pair with a well-known and feared rivalry. There is no doubt that by the time Mukuro returns Hibari will be more than a year older, or worse, at all alive. To be stripped from the little bits of joy he has in seeing or smelling Hibari, is painful.

Which is why for the first time _ever_, Mukuro is afraid of death.

"Ti amo." That tender voice whispers in its natural accent. The smell of sweat is strong against his noise, the sun's light can barely enter the room, yet he can still - and will - say such words so skillfully, despite this being his first time.

"What?" Hot and tired but still wide awake, Hibari can't seem to understand what the one towering over his exposed skin just said. He can't understand the language, as Mukuro had hoped.

A birthday celebration, a single but exciting birthday celebration held in Italy within the walls of a powerful Mafia family's main headquarters, ended with the birthday boy and his alcohol-weak companion drunk to the point of ending up in the bed of an apartment room owned by said birthday boy. A rush of desire is what made Mukuro drag Hibari into his arms and away from that still heavily locked up room at the far end of the hallway. What happened in between is unclear, but neither wish to stop now. Nails claw the arms of the younger teenager, revealing the desire to protest against such act. Nothing else points out that Hibari wants to stop, so Mukuro feels no regret.

He doesn't know what the feeling of regret is like, but for sure, both will come to understand it soon enough.

Naked from head-to-toe and dizzy so much that he could faint, Mukuro can't tell what is right or wrong as he moves in and out with all the strength he has left.

Just how long does he plan on denying his love is unclear, maybe he will continue on running away from even the most smallest of details to maintain a fragment of his dignity, even if it means a lifetime. He just can't bear with the thought of Hibari dying, which doesn't explain how can he accept the other hating him more than he already does? Easy.

Deny that he even hates him as well.

For every life there are moments that occur that make one happy. To Mukuro, torturing, suffocating and even killing another being is no longer the only way to make himself smile. Just seeing Hibari alive is enough. Just knowing he is there on the battlefield or in this bed, Mukuro does to some extent feel at peace.

_'Non lasciare il mio fianco, non posso vivere senza di te.'_

"Hibari Kyoya."

* * *

><p><strong>Owari<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note :<strong> I don't know what kind of Hell-ish story this is, but in such small time I am unable to prepare a proper story for Mukuro-san's birthday. Sorry if I have failed to please my readers, but with so little time, I can do nothing right this year.


End file.
